Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Facebook Dating

As many of you know, I'm on Facebook. A lot. At this time of year, with only one table all night long, there's nothing really to do but keep Facebook open while I putter around on the web. And you can already tell this is going to be a Facebook rant.

Facebook is free because they advertise to us. They make their money from advertisers (right now, you're saying "duh!"). What's great about this is that, unlike Google, which selects its ads based on your search terms (one wonders what ads you'd get if you searched for "hot lesbian dwarves"), Facebook pulls its ads from your profile. Do you live in New York City? Then you get ads from city-based businesses. I'm glad to learn I can get my teeth cleaned for only $10, Facebook, now what are you trying to tell me?

I'm single. So I get a lot of banner ads for dating services. At first, they were fairly innocuous. Typically mainstream sites like and But as time goes on, I've noticed them becoming progressively, well... skeezy. First came the site offering to hook me up with single women with children. MILFs. Moms I'd like to fuck. Okay, thanks Facebook. Not questionable at all. Then there were the sites for Asian dating. Again, thanks Facebook, for indulging me in my yellow fever and penchant for bukkake. Today, I got an ad for plus-sized women. I think you can write your own joke here, folks. (Mine is, I'm not into jumbo loving, Facebook.)

It's as though Facebook will continue progressively going down the list of kink until it finds a site that appeals to me. What's next? Necrophilia dating? Foot fetish dating? Scheize dating? Facebook seems relentlessly interested in my social life, and just will not be happy until I find a dating site to my liking.

It's not like I'm a science fiction fan (sorry, no sci-fi dating, though I know of at least one such site. Let's just say I was horrified, and move on). So don't send me ads for science fiction movies or comic book stores, Facebook. I'm also not a fan of Jameson and Heineken, so don't you dare send me ads for local bars. I don't want ads for books, either. Nope, Facebook, keep on bombarding me with ads for dating services.

Because I don't feel like a pathetic dateless loser already. But thanks for trying to hook me up. Now can I get that ad for lesbian dwarves?


  1. I'm on facebook too but largely dislike it, as I dislike most 'social networking' sites. I mean, what is so social about them. I can talk to people I know (i.e. already probably talk to) by typing to them. OK. Easier then calling them? Maybe. Cheaper then texting? I guess so. But how on Earth do you use facebook to meet people you don't already know? That's part of being social after all.

    So...I guess you didn't come across any ads for curvy, BDSM, anime and RPG fan dating huh? Not that I'm looking! NO! Just...y'know...curious...


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